What's a Nymphomaniac?

When I was about 15 I got turned on to reading Sidney Sheldon. I worked one summer as a Teen on Patrol for the local police department. Growing up I wanted to be a cop more than anything. I took two buses to get there and my job consisted of working at a local high school (in a bad area), and keeping order while kids swam in the indoor pool.

Yeah, right. Even the littlest kid weighed more than I did.  I was forever 90 pounds and on a diet that summer to gain weight. I ate a hot dog and chocolate milkshake every day for lunch that summer, and didn't gain a pound. So the idea of me protecting anybody and stopping fights was a joke. But the joke was on them because I got paid for it.

My boss was a police officer and one day he came by the high school to hand out Teen on Patrol baseball caps. He asked if I wanted to ride around with him to the other teen centers to hand them out. I jumped at the chance to ride in his car all afternoon.

It was in his car that I found a Sidney Sheldon book he was reading. Before then I was still into Judy Blume-type books and comics. I quickly started checking Sidney Sheldon books out of the library and devouring them. Like always, I'd read at breakfast, lunch and dinner (if allowed).

One night my mom invited our church pastor and his entire family over for a fancy-schmancy dinner. My mom was super nervous about impressing this guy and his family. We had the good china out, butter on a dish not in the tub, glasses to drink out of, not plastic...real fancy.

Dinner was served and I couldn't put my latest Sidney Sheldon book down.

"Honey, please put your book away for later," my mom said sweetly. To our company she said, "She just loves to read. Usually Judy Blume, Peanuts or Denis the Menace."

I ignored her.

She cleared her throat. "After our company leaves you can read. It's dinnertime now."

"I'm almost done with this part. Hey, what is a...."

"Lisa Marie, the book. Down. Now." She meant business to use my full name.

"But wait! What's a nymphomaniac?"

Red-faced, she pulled the book out of my hand while our company watched. "Later," she hissed.

"No, now! What's a nymphomaniac?" I asked. "Why won't you just tell me? Don't you know what it is?" I looked at the pastor and chuckled like, get a load of this, she doesn't even know what that big word means.

Needless to say I got the book taken away and was grounded. But dinner was good.
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Tuesday

What's a Nymphomaniac?

When I was about 15 I got turned on to reading Sidney Sheldon. I worked one summer as a Teen on Patrol for the local police department. Growing up I wanted to be a cop more than anything. I took two buses to get there and my job consisted of working at a local high school (in a bad area), and keeping order while kids swam in the indoor pool.

Yeah, right. Even the littlest kid weighed more than I did.  I was forever 90 pounds and on a diet that summer to gain weight. I ate a hot dog and chocolate milkshake every day for lunch that summer, and didn't gain a pound. So the idea of me protecting anybody and stopping fights was a joke. But the joke was on them because I got paid for it.

My boss was a police officer and one day he came by the high school to hand out Teen on Patrol baseball caps. He asked if I wanted to ride around with him to the other teen centers to hand them out. I jumped at the chance to ride in his car all afternoon.

It was in his car that I found a Sidney Sheldon book he was reading. Before then I was still into Judy Blume-type books and comics. I quickly started checking Sidney Sheldon books out of the library and devouring them. Like always, I'd read at breakfast, lunch and dinner (if allowed).

One night my mom invited our church pastor and his entire family over for a fancy-schmancy dinner. My mom was super nervous about impressing this guy and his family. We had the good china out, butter on a dish not in the tub, glasses to drink out of, not plastic...real fancy.

Dinner was served and I couldn't put my latest Sidney Sheldon book down.

"Honey, please put your book away for later," my mom said sweetly. To our company she said, "She just loves to read. Usually Judy Blume, Peanuts or Denis the Menace."

I ignored her.

She cleared her throat. "After our company leaves you can read. It's dinnertime now."

"I'm almost done with this part. Hey, what is a...."

"Lisa Marie, the book. Down. Now." She meant business to use my full name.

"But wait! What's a nymphomaniac?"

Red-faced, she pulled the book out of my hand while our company watched. "Later," she hissed.

"No, now! What's a nymphomaniac?" I asked. "Why won't you just tell me? Don't you know what it is?" I looked at the pastor and chuckled like, get a load of this, she doesn't even know what that big word means.

Needless to say I got the book taken away and was grounded. But dinner was good.
Post a Comment